Maybe the Birth Story was the First Clue

As many of you know, I spent the better part of this week mass-producing Brookie Cookies. Having to roll the two doughs together takes a lot of time, and that is when my mind tends to wander….

Recently, our house has had a lot of action—and a lot of personalities. Having all four kids home is my dream, but it also reminds me just how incredibly different each of my kids is.

There are plenty of studies about nature vs. nurture.

But somewhere around Brookie Cookie number 87, I decided I want to see a study about something else:

What if the way our kids enter the world gives us a little glimpse into who they are going to become?

Hear me out.

Izzy was an easy pregnancy. I worked the entire time. (Well, almost. My boss became convinced I was going to give birth in the office, so he made me work from home the last few weeks!)

I ended up needing to be induced. I lay in my hospital bed reading People magazine and chatting with Lance. I wouldn’t say I love hospitals, but her birth was completely devoid of angst and actually quite enjoyable. I got my epidural plenty early, and Izzy arrived in perfect condition.

It was an amazing, chill experience. She pretty much allowed me to control the entire birth process.

And Izzy grew up to be an easy, chill human who is completely comfortable in a medical environment. She is accommodating and helpful and rarely puts her own wants ahead of someone else’s.

Coincidence? Maybe.

Then came Liliana.

And in case you haven’t noticed, Izzy and Lil are quite different.

At about five months, I was put on bed rest—which was super convenient with a toddler and a job! They monitored me closely, and toward the end of my pregnancy, Lil decided to start doing flips and ended up breech.

I had to have a C-section, which scared the hell out of me.

And Liliana has grown up to love a challenge. She pushes herself incredibly hard—sometimes too hard, in my opinion—and trust me, she has absolutely no intention of taking the easy route.

As she tackles work and grad school, she has become very interested in careers…well, careers we can’t even discuss so her poor mom may not even know her whereabouts.

Which, appropriately, also scares the hell out of me.

Then there was Bensten, our miracle baby.

After losing both of my fallopian tubes because of an ectopic pregnancy, we endured MANY rounds of IVF. I was so happy to finally be pregnant and then over the moon when I found out I was having a boy.

My due date came and went. I was hoping for a VBAC, so I kept waiting to go into labor.

And waiting.

And waiting.

Two weeks past my due date, my doctor finally made me have a C-section.

But Bensten apparently had no urgency whatsoever to leave his comfy womb. He was perfectly content right where he was.

And he was born weighing more than 10 pounds.

Honestly, that was our first glimpse of Bensten.

He is still content. He never wants to ask for anything. Never wants to put anyone out. He’s a homebody who would happily play a family game and just hang out with us.

He is obviously still our miracle for multiple reasons. And sometimes I think he is just as grateful to be here as I am to have him here.

And then there is Boeden.

Oh, Boeden.

Technically, he was conceived at the same time as Bensten, so I like to say they’re “twins.” Boeden just hung out in a freezer for several years.

Which is mind-blowing, because you could not find two more different people.

And Boeden made my final pregnancy as difficult as possible.

At some point there were concerns about his growth, so I started having daily stress tests until the doctors finally said it was time to deliver. They gave me steroid shots, and I delivered my tiniest baby—just five pounds.

He looked like a wounded little bird.

His name was actually supposed to be Ryder. But Ryder felt like a tough-guy name, and this tiny little creature just did not look like a Ryder. Despite the embroidered clothing and the “Ryder’s Big Sister” and “Ryder’s Big Brother” shirts we already owned, we knew it wasn’t right.

So we pivoted.

Hence, Boeden.

And then, as if his tiny, frail body wasn’t scary enough, about ten hours after delivery he stopped breathing while my youngest brother, Tyler, was holding him.

It caused quite the commotion among the medical staff.

I have never felt so helpless. I was tethered to my hospital bed after a C-section. Lance followed Boeden, but didn’t take his phone, so I had no idea what was happening for what felt like forever.

And I think I’ve written enough about Boeden over the years for you to know that he has continued to give us a run for our money.

First the sleep apnea. Then the speech delays and verbal apraxia. Then the learning challenges. Then the anxiety.

The craziest part? He was by far my smallest baby and is now by far my biggest kid.

And he is absolutely writing his own story—just like he wrote his own birth plan.

I love seeing the world through Boeden’s eyes. It looks different than it does through my other kids’ eyes—and probably different than it does through most people’s.

So maybe my Brookie-induced theory is complete nonsense.

Maybe birth stories have absolutely nothing to do with personality.

But when I look at my four kids, I can’t help wondering if they were showing me who they were from the very beginning.

Izzy arrived calmly and cooperatively.

Liliana flipped the script and made her own plan.

Bensten was perfectly content to stay put.

And Boeden came into the world determined to keep all of us on our toes.

Four completely different people.

But thankfully, the one thing they all have in common is that they have incredible hearts. And I love every one of them with every ounce of my being.

So now I’m curious: Do your kids’ birth stories match the people they eventually became?

Because I’m going to need something to think about the next time I’m rolling 180 Brookie Cookies.

Attached is this week’s menu! Lance is out of town for much of the week—first taking Bensten on an official visit and then heading to Vegas for a friend’s bachelor party—so I’m offering limited quantities this week in an attempt to make my life just a little easier.

Hope everyone’s school year is off to a great start!

xo, Heather