"52"

I love Taylor Swift.

I love the song “22".

But this week, I feel like I could write a song about feeling “52".

Things are not magical. Tonight is not the night we forget about the heartbreaks—and heartbreak at 52 looks a lot different than 22.

I started the week with a meeting to discuss Boeden’s neuropsych testing results. It was devastating. Lance and I thought we had done everything possible to help him, but his test indicates he has made minimal progress in three years. Talk about heartbreak. All I want out of life is to know my kids are happy and taken care of…and I can’t help but feel responsible that he is still struggling.

After the meeting, Lance and I knew we needed a plan. But I also felt somewhat paralyzed. It took a few hours, and then the ferocious mama bear in me kicked in. For the remainder of the week, we spent countless hours on calls with specialists, friends in the education field, doctors, psychiatrists… While we still don’t have a clear plan yet, we at least feel like we have some ideas. But this type of heartbreak is way worse than Taylor’s version.

Then, on Tuesday night—the eve of my 52nd birthday—I woke up in excruciating pain… a pain I knew all too well. I’ve had several ovarian cysts in my life, and when they rupture, it’s BRUTAL. At 3am on my birthday, I couldn’t take it anymore. I woke Lance up and told him we needed to go to the hospital. (He did wish me happy birthday, which made me laugh.)

Izzy came up and said we could try additional meds, but if I wasn’t better in an hour, we were heading in. Her over-the-counter concoction knocked me out—and I was so much better in the morning. So grateful to have avoided a middle-of-the-night ER visit. And honestly, I think every family should require at least one kid to become a nurse. I’ve come to rely on her expertise!

And while my week was hijacked by so many unexpected events, there was one very pleasant surprise. Bensten decided to run for president of his school. He knew there wasn’t a strong chance he’d win—the other candidates were very qualified, and quite frankly, one was pretty much a shoe-in—but he wanted to practice public speaking.

He wrote his entire speech himself and addressed his whole high school on Tuesday. Then on Friday, we found out he won.

I literally lost my mind. I started FaceTiming everyone—Lil at school, Izzy at the hospital (oops… won’t do that again!), my siblings… It was such a joyful surprise, and I am so proud of him.

Anyway, my week did not go as planned. I honestly wasn’t sure I would get all of the orders made for Friday! (So in “52,” tonight is not “the night we forget about the deadlines"- but we do miss a few!)

I did miss the 2pm Friday drop deadline… by a little over 24 hours. Sorry!

We just walked in from Bensten’s track meet and finally posted everything for this coming Friday. And today, I’m taking a break from thinking about Boeden’s scores and just enjoying the sunshine.

Hope you all have a great weekend.

Xo,Heather