Upside Down!

Hi! 

It’s been a while…sorry I sorta went MIA. Summer is hectic at our house, and this summer was kinda different. Still hectic….but different. And I found myself feeling sorta overly emotional and overly untethered. And not wanting to bake as much.

Three of my kids were working- a lot. So while I usually love all the family time summer brings….we didn't have a ton of time all together.  I think I had adjusted to Izzy and Lil working, but something about Bensten being a relatively independent working boy sorta threw me. He would wake up at like 6am to get a run in before the intense heat hit. Then he would make his own breakfast and head to swim practice. Then he coached for a few hours, followed by giving a few private lessons. And then in the evenings, we would try to make time for him to practice driving.

That all sounds super positive, right? So you might be wondering what my problem was. 

Fair question. What was my freaking problem?

I just don’t think I had ever let myself imagine Bensten as a totally independent kid. I am guessing I put up walls - likely 10 years ago when he was injured. And out of self preservation,I just never took them down. It wasn’t a conscious decision. So when he started needing me way less this summer, I was just not ready for it, despite it being exactly what I have hoped and prayed for all these years. It took me a little while to realize what I was feeling, and while I can’t say I have fully adjusted, I have fully committed to embracing his amazing independence. (But please do not bring up college. I am just not ready for that yet! Thankfully he is only a junior, but I know reality is just around the corner, so I am working on embracing my independent son applying to college!)

On top of Bensten’s amazing summer, Boeden also shocked me. 

Boeden marches to his own tune- and it’s a very unique tune to say the least. He has never really enjoyed the activities that our other 3 kids enjoy. For years, we have sorta forced him to do swim team. We never made him do meets if he didn't want to, but we viewed the daily practices as exercise, and important. And despite being a part of the team for many years, there were always anxiety attacks and drama.

This summer, Boeden dove in….and just kept on swimming. There was no anxiety. He loved every single aspect of the team. Pep rallies. B meets. He even made a few A meets!

So despite bracing for the drama, his summer was blissfully serene. He loves his tutor, so for 6 hours a week, he worked hard and never once complained. Which again, is GREAT, I just didn’t expect it. And a lot of my energy that used to go towards talking him off the ledge and negotiating, was no longer needed. 

So I guess this summer was a big transition summer, and I wasn’t expecting it. No complaints at all- aside from me not pivoting as gracefully as I might have hoped. I have spent the past 23 years loving being a full time mom. But I am realizing my kids need me less and less every year….

We are actually on the road to Davidson right now. We are moving Liliana into the cutest little house for her senior year and spending a few days on Lake Norman. But when we get back home, I am going to start mapping out my Fall, which will of course involve baking, but I also want to get back into some of the activities I used to love. I am looking for a workout class. I would love a boot camp of some sort, if you have any suggestions. And a cardio tennis or tennis group. I used to play a lot of tennis, but am probably sorta rusty right now.

And I want to find a volunteer gig of some sort. I might try to find something at INOVA- but if anyone has any suggestions on that front- let me know!

And for all you mamas out there that are either sending kids off to kindergarten or college, or dealing with some form of transition- I FEEL YA. I think we all have to give ourselves some grace. I know it’s easier said than done, but watching your kids fly is awesome and awful….but mostly awesome!

And, I have gotten lots of messages that people no longer receive my emails. It could be cause I rarely sent emails this summer. Or it could be cause our system is whacked. (Or more than likely user error on my part!) Feel free to re-subscribe….I don’t think you will get duplicate emails. But then again, what do I know about technology? 

xo, 

Heather

A few pics of Lil's adorable house- She lives with 3 other swimmers, across the street from the boy swimmer's house. I think she is going to have a great year!

Lil's room

Good help is hard to find. We took a few breaks in her huge family room!