Hi! Happy New Year. I had an amazing break- I slept in every single day….and then spent the days just hanging out with my kids and Lance. I even read a few books! Boeden learned how to bring me coffee in bed! It was honestly perfect.
But, re-entry has been tough. Well, not so much the re-entry…maybe it's just being forced to confront reality. You all know I struggle every time I have to send a kid back to college. Lil only had 2 weeks at home and then had to leave for swim training trip. I LOVE when I have all my kids under one roof. So I was seriously weepy for several days after she left. And because I love any opportunity to catastrophize, I started thinking about Bensten one day going to college….
But my heart just can’t go there. Like it's a problem.
I don’t know if it’s because back when he was first injured, I accepted that his life trajectory would be different and he would always be here with me. And when his recovery started to exceed what anyone anticipated, we just rolled with the happy punches….But maybe I never really embraced our good fortune….
I will admit I have coddled my boys. Way too much. But it’s what felt right in the moment. It’s only now that I am realizing I need to back off and let them be more independent. Lance and I had a heart to heart after Lil left (and I got extra crazy) and we know I have to give my boys the confidence to tackle life without me. (And trust me, logically I agree. But my heart just seems to be a little slower to embrace it!) Anyway, after our chat, we started taking Bensten on “LE’s”....Life Experiences. No, we didn’t head into the wilderness and fight off grizzly bears, though almost as scary. Lance took him to the mall two days after Christmas and made him do a return at Lululemon. It was insanity; sensory overload to say the least. But he did great. The next day they took a package to UPS- with a line all the way out the door and around the corner. Nailed it. And Bensten started driving. (We are taking that LE very slowly!) Today, Bensten is headed to a track meet at Woodberry Forest, and neither Lance or I are going. Honestly, as much as I would like to take credit for an LE, it’s more just logistics that we can’t go. But it's killing me. I worry so much….But I keep reminding myself that I want him to feel confident to do things without me!
And as I type this, Lil’s team found out their flight back to Davidson from Florida was canceled due to the snow and the soonest they can all fly back is Monday!!! They had already checked out of their hotel so they are currently homeless in Ft Lauderdale. You know I wanted to swoop in and fly her home….or have her Uber to Miami and stay with my godmother. But I resisted. I even texted that this is an LE (pretty sure she wasn’t interested in an LE opportunity.)
Anyway, it’s pretty clear that parenting isn’t for the faint of heart. And it’s certainly not easy for the control freaks, like me! But luckily I have been working on a special order all day, so I am not quite as certifiable as I could be right now!! So my husband and kids thank YOU for letting me bake for you ;)
Thanks for starting 2025 with me! I hope we all have an amazing year! Xo, Heather
PS. Izzy worked 1pm to 1am yesterday. I never tell her, but I do worry when she drives home in the middle of the night. Last night I woke up at 1am, saw the roads covered in snow and had a small freak out. She just so happened to be driving during the small window before roads were treated….but made it home totally fine. So for those keeping track, Boeden was the only child I was not worrying about yesterday!
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