I always thought I would ‘grow old gracefully’.
I always said I wanted to set a good example for my girls and accept my body as it is….
I’ll also always remember the day my girlfriend said “never say never”.
Today was never.
Well, kinda. It’s a long story, but suffice to say, this year has felt hard. I will turn 50 in April, and I feel like the wheels have gradually started falling off. I can’t exercise the way I used to without hurting my back or shooting my cortisol levels into orbit. My hair color is becoming more gray than brown. If I don’t wear make-up, I get asked if I am sick…and apparently I can gain weight from just breathing. So I just don’t feel quite like myself.
But, I am really scared of doing anything that will totally alter my appearance- for lots of reasons. This past December, a girlfriend referred me to a spa for a facial. When I went for the consult, they started talking to me about botox. I had been doing botox in my jaw for TMJ - I have had way more root canals and crowns than is normal. I clench and grind really fiercely! Anyway, I was long overdue, and they said they could do it right there. So they shot up my jaw and told me I should get a ‘morpheus’ facial which requires anesthesia. (Like out cold anesthesia. Suffice to say I was not interested in their facial!!) About a week after the injections, Iz came home to visit and immediately asked me if I was feeling okay. She proceeded to do a full neuro-exam (gotta love having an almost-nurse in the family!) Thankfully I was not having a stroke, but apparently the botox for my jaw was either incorrectly diluted, or hit the wrong muscle, and one side of my face was paralyzed. I am not kidding- there was virtually no movement on one side of my face!! (I will try to find a picture!)
That episode sorta sent me into a tailspin. I could not believe I just let them inject me, in an effort to save some time. (Previously I had had my oral surgeon do the injections.) I had not researched the spa at all….and man I paid the price. I could not look in the mirror for months.
A friend’s sister, who is a doctor and recently opened a medspa was super helpful and helped me realize nothing terrible or permanent would result from the ‘botched botox’.
So, today, I finished baking and ran to my first appointment at her medspa in Falls Church and had a Vybe Microneedling facial. I am not totally sure what to expect, but it’s supposed to stimulate collagen production and target fine lines and wrinkles! But yet again, I didn’t do quite enough research and only found out after the facial that I can’t get my face wet for 24 hours. I literally went in there with caramel in my hair, and now, I will enjoy said caramel until tomorrow evening!! Anyway, we will wait and see if I look/feel better as a result… If nothing else, it felt good to have a couple of hours to myself…I
But, the couple hours for myself are why this email is totally late! Sorry!!
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